Re: my concern as to whether I should accept this part at the Rep despite the fact that I may have been cast as a fat sight gag, apparently I am smoking crack (according to some heretofore very reliable sources) and also, a wise friend confided, delightfully, that he would do a nude scene if it were tastefully done and important to the storyline, if it meant he could show of a rockin’ bod. Although I think he may have meant that in an “if I were you” kind of way. I don’t think he’s an actor so that would make his choice to do a nude scene even more interesting.
For the record, if I had the body of these Olympic figure skaters, people, I would be doing porno. And not the tasteful, plot driven kind. Hard core PORNO. Watch for that “T minus” number to hit around the 130 mark. And then look for me in the back room of your favorite Korean video store.
A brief side note on the Olympics: I didn’t watch most of the opening ceremonies but I did watch the parade of athletes part, which is my favorite. I love the teams that only have one athlete and the African teams. Cause, you know, where the hell do they train? (why, the U.S. of course) My favorite part was the 52 year old lone athlete from the Virgin Islands. She’s competing in luge. Sorry, I don’t think I made that clear enough. She’s fifty-two earth years old. And she’s not one of those hip, Hollywood looking 52 year olds. She looks like my mom. White hair, glasses, a little too heavy for an athlete. It’s her sixth Olympics. She beat cancer. I. Heart. Her.
Dick Buttons got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He is ripping these pair skaters new holes. The chick commentator keeps giving us the all-important who’s-a-couple-in-real-life info. Which, A) come on. It’s hard enough for women to get commentary jobs in sports, could you step it up with some hard facts? and B) How can you be a pair skater and not be a couple with your skating partner? Anybody whose crotch gets that close to my face owes me at least a drink, if not jewelry.
I digress. It’s a severe sinus headache weekend, and as we all know, I take weight loss any way I can get it. My jeans should be feeling a little looser by Monday…
T minus 40 and counting.
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