I don’t know if anyone who reads this website actually went to see me in The Underpants, but if so, I must send a huge THANK YOU. You know I mean it because it’s in all caps. And a very special shout out to my friend and former co-worker Ken, who told me after the show that my face looked “soooo thin.” A blantant lie to be sure, but I think if he added an “-er” to the end of that, then it would be true. Anyway, it made me feel good.
Things I ate this weekend include:
eggs
toast
Subway sandwiches
1 McDonald’s “premium” grilled chicken sandwich
1 cookie
1 chocolate vagina on a stick
salad
summer rolls from the sushi bin
soup. looooooots of soup
diet bars
tea. looooots of tea
trail mix
carrots
We’ll see what that all adds up to this week.
I am so not following this LAWL diet I can’t even tell you. Still losing weight, yes, but not the LA Weight Loss way. But I don’t think it really matters, do you? I mean, loss is loss. I even tossed around the idea of just leaving the program altogether. Why stay, right? There’s a lot of turnover at the LAWL and there’s a new crop of gals there who, well, frankly don’t appear to love their jobs. Not that I blame them. But you know it’s one thing to sit behind a desk and quietly seethe about the turn your life has taken. It is quite another to do it when your job is to work with innocent, diet-abiding clients. Especially when said clients are already kind of irritable about having to be there to begin with. I’m just saying. They’re getting sloppy.
From the What the Hell is Wrong With These People Department:
I was standing in the lobby last week buying bars and apparently you need some kind of advanced degree to operate their computer system because it always take three or four of them hovering over the thing to get the job done. So this murder (clutch? herd? wedge? gaggle?) of couselors was lurking, lurking over my file and the computer, asking each other questions and inputting information while I stood at the counter of the tiny lobby, chin in hand and looked around boredly at the woman and the couple sitting, waiting for their turns. So one of the couselors said, “okay you need to input her weight, what was it?” “215.” Right out loud. Just like that. I jerked my head up. I couldn’t believe it. And then she did it again. “What was that?” “215.” So I said, “um, please don’t say my weight out loud.” They both got this look on their faces like, “oh yeah. Why did I just do that? I can’t believe we just did that. That was stupid.” And they apologized more than once, so I really have to chalk it up to temporary insanity. Either that or they’ve becomed completely desensitized and they just don’t think about it anymore, or truly don’t care, for which I am tempted to give them snaps, if I can still do that. Is that too 90s? I don’t keep up with the kids.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m gonna keep going for now. If nothing else, they’ve got the only scale I’ve weighed on so I need to keep weighing on it. Maybe that’s their ploy. Their racket. Their hook. First they get the kids hooked…
T minus 45 pounds and counting…
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