ZOMG my pants are so tight. Like, fi’teen dollah ho tight. They didn’t used to be. BUT THEY WILL BE AGAIN. *shakes fist*
Did you know that there are doctors in the world who will recommend your fat ass for liposuction even if you haven’t lost much weight? Like, you don’t even have to be trying to diet. You can just go have it all sucked out. Of course, you’d better have the money to follow it up with a skin tuck or you’ll look like a deflated balloon or a basset hound or something, but still. I just… that really surprises me. I’m not trying to be all Judgey McJudgenstein up in here but it seems to me that if you have not yet mastered the skill of eating in such a way as to not be overweight, then you are just going to ruin your surgical results by continuing bad habits and getting fat again.
Okay, I’m jealous. I am, I admit. I would like to find these doctors. Quick results would be so awesome that I sometimes contemplate trying to pick up a cold or flu just to kickstart a diet. But here at Chez Rachel, we do things the old fashioned way. We blog it. And…you know… something about eaaaaarning it. You do remember those commercials, right? I’m old.
I had pizza this weekend. What? I should LIE about it? Would that take the calories away? No. But I got some exercise as well so I’m hoping that canceled some of it out at least. Blond Trainer is giving me a weight training “program” tomorrow since now I’m down to seeing him once a week. I quite liked the boxing we’ve been doing but I’m pretty sure I can’t do that on my own as it primarily consisted of punching and kicking him. So. Bring on the heavy machinery. It’s fat beatin’ time. Booyah bitches.
T minus Jeebus I’m Fat and counting
Dear Rachel. Should I be ashamed at how easily I can LMAO at your misfortune? Really, thank you for sharing. You do make my days so bright! As for the misfortunes, I’ll put you on the prayer list. At the Church of Christ. Just so the requests are sure to get there